sink under.
There could be fog
Or maybe just a mist
And inexplicably I'll fade to white
Vanish, and be gone
Or it could be night
And I'll be darkly dressed,
Evading easy definition
And as your eye's distracted
By a falling leaf
I'll merge with restless shadows
And be gone
Then you will discover
What emptiness is
A space so hollow
Even its own walls are swallowed up
A quality of missing
So intense
A lack, a lack
Each hour more bottomless than the last
Until your heart cries out,
A howl of forfeiture
But it will be nothing
Ashen silence where I used to sing
And deafness
The howl must strike the right resonant frequency
A wail that echoes all to the ends of time
To fill the gaping void in whole, looping wavelengths
From the well of your soul, such loneliness
To make Siberian wolves hang heads for shame
In their convivial packs
Then, only then
Might you detect my footprints, indistinct
Marking the morning dew fall
Perhaps glimpse a puff of breath
in the cold, dawn air
You must utter
A howl so desolate, it
Jerks you from your sleep
To find me warm beside you on your pillow
And you will know how
Close you were to the brink
Of the abyss
And know what missing is
And hold me.
Â
the livin one.
JEWW.
taurus.
ball thru the hoop is my game
OUTDOORS and clubs.
APPLOGIST
EMOTIONS.
talking, laughing, loving, breathing,
fighting, fcuking, crying, drinking,
writing, winning, losing, cheating,
kissing, thinking, dreaming.
LIST
suspenders
overolls
convrse bball shoes
timberland baggg
braunbuffel wallet
adidas sbs
adidas jacket
ipod video
MACbook pro
limegreen G-shock watch
adidas cap
DUN HAVE MY SIZE! ):
havanas sandles
E.A / adidas shades
black blazer with white strips
clothes pls :)
Thursday, August 03, 2006
I LOST MY RING ): ): ):
i really really like dat ring alot.. ):
but i carelessly left it at treetop's toilet la!!!
im a jackass.
i think ill go down and ask and try to see if anyone picked it up and left it with the housekeepin department..
the chances are damn slim.. but i hope they have it.. ):
i need to know to lead to motivate..
where's the passion that drives me?
the flame seems to be going out..
what am i doing..?
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down...
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
I'm supposed to be the soldier who never blows his composure
Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders
I ain't ever s'posed to show it, my crew ain't supposed to know it
Even if it means goin' toe to toe with a Benzino it don't matter
I never drag them in battles that I can handle 'less I absolutely have to
I'm supposed to set an example
I need to be the leader, my crew looks for me to guide 'em
If some shit ever does pop off, I'm supposed to be beside 'em
That Ja shit I tried to squash it, it was too late to stop it
There's a certain line you just don't cross and he crossed it
I heard him say Hailie's name on a song and I just lost it
It was crazy, the shit went way beyond some Jay-z and Nas shit
And even though the battle was won, I feel like we lost it
I spent so much energy on it, honestly I'm exhausted
And I'm so caught in it I almost feel I'm the one who caused it
This ain't what I'm in hip-hop for, it's not why I got in it
That was never my object for someone to get killed
Why would I wanna destroy something I help build
It wasn't my intentions, my intentions were good
I went through my whole career without ever mentionin'
And that was just out of respect for not runnin' my mouth
And talkin' about something that I knew nothing about
Plus Dre told me stay out, this just wasn't my beef
So I did, I just fell back, watched and gritted my teeth
While he's all over t.v. down talkin' a man who literally saved my life
Like fuck it i understand this is business
And this shit just isn't none of my business
But still knowin' the shit could pop off at any minute cuz
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
There used to be a time when you could just say a rhyme
And wouldn't have to worry about one of your people dyin'
But now it's elevated cuz once you put someone's kids in it
The shit gets escalated, it ain't just words no more is it?
It's a different ball game, callin' names and you ain't just rappin'
We actually tried to stop the 50 and Ja beef from happenin'
Me and Dre had sat with him, kicked it and had a chat with him
And asked him not to start it he wasn't gonna go after him
Until Ja started yappin' in magazines how we stabbed him
Fuck it 50 smash 'im, mash on 'im, let him have it
Meanwhile my attentions pulled in another direction
Some receptionist at The Source who answers phones at his desk
Has an erection for me and thinks that I'll be his ressurection
Tries to blow the dust off his mic and make a new record
But now he's fucked the game up cuz one of the ways I came up
Was through that publication the same one that made me famous
Now the owner of it has got a grudge against me for nothin'
Well fuck it, that mutherfucker can get it too, fuck him then
But I'm so busy being pissed off I don't stop to think
That we just inherited 50's beef with Murder Inc.
And he's inherited mine which is fine ain't like either of us mind
But we still have soldiers that's on the front line
Who's willing to die for us as soon as we give the orders
Never to extort us, strictly to show they support us
And maybe shout 'em out in a rap or up in a chorus
To show them we love 'em back and let 'em know how important it is
To have Runyon Avenue soldiers up in our corners
Their loyalty to us is worth more than any award is
But I ain't tryna have none of my people hurt and murdered
It ain't worth it I can't think of a perfecter way to word it
Then to just say that I love ya'll too much to see the verdict
I'll walk away from it all 'fore I let it go any further
But don't get it twisted, it's not a plea that I'm coppin'
I'm just willin' to be the bigger man
If ya'll can quit poppin' off at the jaws well then I can
Cuz frankly I'm sick of talkin'
I'm not gonna let someone elses coffin rest on my conscience cuz
Step by step, heart to heart, left right left
We all fall down like toy soldiers
Bit by bit, torn apart, we never win
But the battle wages on for toy soldiers
. stared 10:11 AM